From the editor's blog ...

It’s the 40th anniversary of Stonewall this month. But did you know there’s another June milestone at hand? One in which your Spangle editor played a very large role?

Sit down, kids, and listen to a story.
 
Ten years ago this week, the phone rang on Saturday morning at my then-boyfriend’s apartment. On the line was Michael Moore’s producer (yes, that Michael Moore, of Fahrenheit 911 fame). Rich’s connection to the famed in-your-face documentarian? He’d appeared in an episode of Moore’s show The Awful Truth, in a segment delightfully titled “The Sodomobile.”

The producer had two simple questions for Rich: Would you kiss a boy on TV? And do you have a boy who would kiss you on TV?
 
It was the summer after the first season of Will and Grace, 22 episodes in which single hetero Grace managed to get up on a man or two, but single homo Will had gotten nothing. And so news reports circulating the media said the show intended for Will to kiss a man in the second season, thus breaking a man-on-man barrier that had existed since the dawn of, well, forever.
 

Sure, ladies had engaged in same-sex smooching, from aspiring lezzie lawyers on L.A. Law to Ellen D. and her on-screen gal pal. But boys had suffered disappointment, from the lame bedroom scene on thirtysomething to the awkwardly cut Matt lack-of kiss on Melrose Place.
 
It was time for the men to engage in lip-locking, and Moore’s producer was determined to make smooching happen with a real couple before NBC could do it fictionally. During breakfast viewing. On the Today show.

It was to be ambush theater at its best.
 
Rich and I were two young, hot-headed queer activists in love. We’d met in the aftermath of the terrible October 1998 Matthew Shepard political funeral, during which dozens of mourners were arrested by New York City police. Since then we’d protested other hate violence, as well as police brutality in the city.
 
So kissing on TV? That was nothing.
 
We bandied a few ideas around, including throwing the Today producers the raw meat of two military men in uniform, an idea I vetoed because my father was in the Army, and it seemed like it would muddle the issue. Were we protesting TV kisses or Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?
 
We finally settled on the live-TV bait that is a marriage proposal, which is how that Monday morning at 6 a.m., we were standing in the Rockefeller Plaza with a sign that read: “Jill, Will U Marry Me?” The outdoor producer loved the idea of a man proposing to his girlfriend back in Ohio, and sprinted inside to run it by the higher-ups.

But that morning, the first three Al Roker weather segments passed us over. We thought they must have figured us out as homos, despite our wearing our most heterosexual outfits. (Mine included an ill-fitting Structure polo shirt.)
 
But then, in the 8:30 half-hour, Roker walked over to a couple celebrating a milestone wedding anniversary. What’s your secret, he asked. Pray, the husband answered.
 
That finished, Roker barreled down the line of gathered fans, proclaiming that there was a guy who had something to ask. And with that, the camera and microphone were thrust in Rich’s and my faces.
 
“Jill, I’ve got something I have to tell you,” I stammered. “I’m so happy that I love … Rich!”
 
And with that, I turned to Rich, and we mashed our lips together in what is possibly the most awkwardly fashioned kiss in TV history. But it was history: the first (real) gay-male kiss broadcast in the U.S.
 
Roker, to his credit, rolled with the punches, but moments later made this comment: “See, they wouldn’t do that on Will and Grace.”

 

When a barrier is crashed, you expect a torrent. But when it comes to gay-male TV affection, it’s still been more of a trickle.
 
Sure, Will got a boyfriend — a few. Queer as Folk got naked — a lot (but on pay cable). And two Army guys macked on Grey’s Anatomy — it was totally hot.

It’s still surprising, though, to see man-on-man TV action. Perhaps the best example of this is Brothers and Sisters, where married gays Kevin and Scotty mash it up on a regular basis. One episode even centered around their pondering a three-way with Kevin’s ex.

But I find it tickling to see boys kissing on TV, perhaps because it’s still so infrequent to witness — at least in the media.

One of the fascinating things I do following any gay-kiss episode on TV is to read Internet viewer comments, whether it’s on network message boards or E! Online. You’d be surprised by the reactions, even in 2009: “Why do they always have to push the gay stuff on us?” Or, “I don’t mind if he’s gay, but why do they have to show them kissing all the time?”

It’s stunning to read that in 2009. Yet here we are, in 2009: Most of us cannot marry the one we love. Many of us still can be fired for being queer.

And 10 years after a lil' kiss, some people are still uncomfortable seeing us be affectionate — uncomfortable even knowing we exist. So that little Today kiss still looms large as one of the most important things I’ve ever been part of.

You get married, and prove citizens are OK with that. You come out to your employer, and prove co-workers can deal with it.

We kissed — and proved most people were ready to witness it.

It's a little thing, a little fight for equality. But remember, these little fights add up to something bigger.

So as Pride month comes to a close, I ask this: Speak up. Take action.

Kiss.

Fight on.

Comments (7)

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that was cool as hell....
written by Nick , June 28, 2009

I sorta remember hearing about that famous kiss on the Today Show, but never saw the clip. THAT, my friend, is some cool-ass history.

Thanks for takin' that step to make our lives a little better

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great story
written by Vincent-louis Apruzzese , June 29, 2009

but could it really be the first? We used to kiss all the time at pride in the 70's an 80's and it got on tv many times... maybe not national tv though. (that I know of- lol)

I saw that kiss and had nothing but admiration for you two!

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OZ
written by mort , June 29, 2009

Beecher and Keller kissed on "Oz" in August 1998, but that was HBO, so maybe you're not counting that.

That was a great thing to do though - especially on a show like that with so many viewers. Every little bit helps.

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seems unlikely
written by Steven , June 29, 2009

that that's the first nationally televised male-male kiss between non-actors. at the very least there was Pedro Zamora's commitment ceremony on MTV's The Real World in 1994.

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To clarify ...
written by Editor Brian , June 29, 2009

Obviously, there were kisses before on cable, that's why I was careful to say "broadcast."

Some also have pointed to short pecks during Tales of the City and Dawson's Creek. I suppose the reason people called it the first real boy-boy kiss was this: If you went on a date, and your friends later asked you, "Did he kiss you?" And you answered, "Just a peck." Well, it wasn't substantial.

Which is why perhaps a better name would be the first boy-boy romantic kiss broadcast on network TV.

But that's kind of exhausting to say.

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why nitpick?
written by MarilynJean , June 29, 2009

It's awesome history regardless of who did what first on cable or live feed. That kiss is just one part of the bigger role you (and Spangle) play in progressing LGBT rights. Great story - I learned so much.

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Don't ruin the moment...
written by Farina , June 30, 2009

Well, if we all want to be so technical, Brian and Rich did not have the first kiss on TV. Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin certainly beat them to the punch. There were probably others too. All these other mentions of TV pecks and quasi-lip locks are nonsense.

That being said, Brian and Rich were two gay boys in love (at the time) and they planted an intentional, meaningful kiss on one another not to get a laugh or to embarrass, but because they wanted to show the world that two boys can be in love and that we had been denied that kind of kiss way too long.

So, it was the first. The first kiss of its kind on TV - and it was historic. Perhaps those of you who keep trying to find fault here are just jealous you didn't have the nerve to do it yourself. Thanks Brian for doing it and thanks for reminding us of it. I hope you do so every ten years.

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